St. Michaels Square- Toronto, ON

I’ve been floating through the web for more than a couple years now reading travel blogs and forums (Bootsnall). I had big dreams, I wanted to do what other people my age were doing, traveling.  I would read their posts or blogs and get jealous when I’d realize that most of them had started traveling shortly after high school. They’re younger than me, and in many ways they seemed smarter than me as well.

I’m not the world’s best saver. In fact I’m savings challenged. I always have been. I like to shop, I like to go out and party or have dinner with friends. I like going to movies and taking last minute trips. Most of my trips since high school have been just that, last minute escapes. More often than not I used whatever cash I had in my bank account, went away on some 5-day adventure (I flew to London and did London and Paris in 5 days) and then come home to a month or more of backed up bills.   Short escapes are great when I’m doing them. I’m happy and free, but then I feel the crush when I’m home.

My family is very much a working family. My parents are both work-a-holics, in other words they give 110% at the job, and it’s something I’ve learned to do as well.  When I was younger I made the decision to quit my well paying job and move from Ontario to Alberta.  I had a summer hotel job lined up to bring in some cash and I was excited to be leaving home and venturing out on my own, but my family was a different story.  When I told my parents my Mom was not happy, but supportive. My Dad stopped talking to me.  I was crushed.  My Dad had never just stopped talking to me before.  In fact he and I usually had some wicked arguments (he did this “Well you’re not mad at me, you’re mad at yourself thing that would piss me off like you wouldn’t believe!). I tried to talk to him, but nothing. For 3 whole days he ignored my existence and it’s an experience that is still very fresh in my mind 10 yrs later if I allow myself to walk down memory lane.

Work, money & responsibilities are all things I’ve been taught, and there is nothing wrong with that. But blue-collar life isn’t meant for everyone. Some of us dream of more, and if you’re like I was, and drowning in debt – your dreaming of a nice shiny lotto ticket to solve all your problems.  I’ve been in the corporate or retail game for years. I thought that that was what I wanted. I wanted the big promotions and the big money. But when they came I was miserable, still unable to save money and still in debt. So how have I changed the cycle? It’s not easy, even today. My views and priorities changed after a major life event that has affected me in many ways and although it’s fairly personal, I’m going to share it with you (in shorter amounts) in hopes that you may get something out of it.

Last fall my parents were trying to reach my Grandmother on the phone, but she wasn’t answering and something felt odd. My Mom then asked my Dad to go over (she was at work already) and see if she was okay. My Dad found my Grandmother on the floor by her bed, unconscious and had no idea how long she had been like that.  Let me tell you, the 2.5hr drive from my house to theirs was agony! When I walked into the ER I didn’t even recognize her. My Mom had been there all day with her and there were no changes.  My Mom and I spent the next 4 days by her bedside in an emotional roller coaster, wondering if she was going to make it. She almost didn’t. But she kind of turned around.  We then spent the next 2.5 weeks by her bed making sure she was eating, monitoring her vitals etc. In other words, the hospital was our home. It was draining. I had worked as a Personal Care Aide when I was younger, so I was able to help my Grandmother more than I normally would have. If she asked me about her condition, I would be honest and give her a no shit answer (she would have killed me if I had lied to her). We were never close, my Grandmother and I.  It was always awkward going to visit her as we had nothing in common and she could sometimes have some very hurtful opinions.  But as I sat in her hospital room I understood her. I bonded with her and I realized that even though she may have been a tad cranky, she always lived her life the way she wanted to and never paid attention to what others thought.  She didn’t worry about spending her money because she couldn’t take it with her.

My Grandmother eventually left the hospital, but not for home. She was sent to palliative care. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and things were moving faster than the doctors thought.  I lost my Grandmother (my last Grandparent) at the beginning of December.  But, as I look back I don’t dwell on all those draining, stressful days spent by her bed. I dwell on the life lessons she taught me; to live and enjoy my life while I can. I still suck at saving money, but my Grandmother has left me some money in her will.  It’s my Grandmother that inspired me to finally suck it up, get myself out of debt and finally do what I’ve been dreaming of doing for years. Thanks to her I now have a solid focus and direction.

It’s funny how you can change your destiny with the right motivation. For me it took a life-changing event to “see the light”. I evaluate everything I buy, and if I falter and find myself having buyer’s remorse the next day, I return it. I’m trying really hard to shrink my bills. I opted for the basic cable pkg (which really sucks some days). I save my recycling and take it to the depot to get the levy back. I’m trying hard to take lunches to work (I’m really bad at this. I take a lunch like 2/5 days and sometimes I just skip eating it all together), but I find myself walking to Quizno’s more than I should. Saving money is hard when you’re not a saver to begin with. As for my debt, I pay a little off with every pay. I save extra money I get from GST credits, recycling etc without using any of it for bills. I’ve even had to go as far as opening a savings acct at a bank that’s totally annoying to discourage myself from taking money out (It has like $4 in it right now).

I’m not a 20-something traveler; I’m a 30-something traveler. My style has evolved; I have more focus and direction.  It’s taken me a lot longer to wake-up, but I’m awake now. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows yet. It’s still a struggle. On bad days I remember trips to China, Cuba, Scotland or my-5 day adventure to London and Paris.  On good days I look forward to the new adventures I’ll be having and the start of my RTW trip in August. I still get a little jealous of the 20-something travelers, but I wouldn’t change my life experiences for anything. I’m a late traveler bloomer and I’m okay with that.